TWO IN ONE DAY??? WHAT? What even is this craziness?That's right. I'm on the ball.I write this from my uncle's kitchen table in Annaberg-Buchholz, an itty bitty German town 15 minutes from the Czech border. The last we talked, I was on my way here. Or rather, trying to find my way to my uncle to get here. When I asked him how to get to this middle of nowhere town, the response was "Go to Karlovy Vary, I'll pick you up at the bus station."

So off I went. I packed up my things, got on the first bus, and landed in Karlovy Vary at noon. A little about this meeting point. Karlovy Vary is a little spa town in the north of the Czech Republic and has about 3 streets in it. Don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous. It's just a lot smaller than you'd think. So in my first hour, I wandered through those 3 streets, got cold, went to McDonalds for free wifi and warmth, went back to those streets, wandered around some more, etc.Seeing as I had this opportunity to be in a spa town for a few hours, I figured 'fuck it, why not treat myself' and went to one of the spa houses. After looking through expensive brochures about beer jacuzzis and full body massages, I opted for a 14 euro infrared sauna. That's right. I'm out here treating myself. You should be proud.

I left the sauna after an hour of sweating myself silly. Took another round of the town, and then made my way to the bus station. Where I waited. And continued to wait for almost an hour before I realized there was more than one bus station in this 3 street town. How stupid could I be, really? Figured it out eventually though. Which is when I finally met up with my uncle. Who is brilliant, by the way. He's absolutely hilarious and could not have a bigger heart. But more to come on that later.And thus concludes my Karlovy Vary story. Tune in next time for the latest episode of How is Ellen Still Alive On the Other Side of the World????