October 5th, 2017

Alright. It's time for an update. Today, I am in Amsterdam. I'm afraid I have an entire country to catch you up on. Or 2, I suppose. I believe I left off on the flight from Calgary to London. And what an adventure London was.

Let me give you a little backstory. The last time I was in London, I used tinder to get food suggestions, hear about places from locals, know about events, etc. I didn't, however, use tinder for its intended match making purpose. While there, I matched a student living in ealing named Aaron. He was lovely and we ended up texting for the next 6 months until I made it back there again this time. When I told aaron I was coming to visit, he quickly and platonically offered his couch. Thinking of how this could be a great financial opportunity, I accepted and expected the best. And it was. Really. I met his friends and flatmates and we all had a great time. Really no complaints there. I loved it. The problem with tinder though, is that there is that always an underlying intention, and it created a bit of drama. Still no hate though. I spent the mornings with aaron, grabbing coffee or making smoothies, and then I took off across the city while he was in class. I ended up watching a man walk on a tightrope, wandering through Camden, getting into a gay club on accident, finding the cutest coffee shop, guzzling too many cocktails, visiting Primark at least 6 times, dancing to bad music, taking pictures of everything but me, attending a trampoline based exercise class, and making a complete and total ass of myself. (Sorry again about that one, Aaron). Anywayyyyy.

As cities go, London requires a certain romanticism. The streets are dirty, the tube is crowded and defensive reactions are the name of the game. In a sense, if you don't keep up, you'll be left behind. Which just so happens to be my favorite attitude. If I had the money, patience and grit, I'm sure I would thrive in London, but alas.

You know, I enjoyed it. I drank too much, danced too much, talked too much, spent too much and slept too little. But who doesn't, right?

I met a girl named Nesta while I was in London. She's a friend of Aaron's and complete and total mess. And I say this in the kindest way, because I realized I am her. I'm so much less put together than I thought I was... and do you want to know what else? I used to look down on those people. The people who were a mess. The people with nervous laughter or feigned confidence or confusing life plans. The people who seem too misshapen to fit into the puzzle. And now I realize that's me. Without a doubt. I am the weird puzzle piece. Who knew? (Other than all of you who knew I was nuts a long time ago).

And so. London passed almost too quickly. The days seemed to blink by, while the laughter and smiles scored themselves into my memory. So this is my unreaching thank you to London. To the grit and the buzz. And to Nesta, for showing me it's okay to be a mess, cause fuck it, who cares anyway